Ask-Me-About Forum

[Jacqueline]

Hi Loz

I'm new here but I thought I'd try to help in any way I can since you are so generous with your time with everyone! Clearly you are the master of SEO and Forex so can't help there so that I'd offer some proofreading of your FSM product.

You can take or leave all or some of these suggestions but just thought I'd throw them out there.

1. On your 2nd red healine "Forex Trading Veteran of 11 Years and Mentor ..." I would take out the BUT, to me it reads better without it, this might just be my opinion lol, and put a comma after learn.

"Forex Trading Veteran of 11 Years and Mentor Is Going To Prove That His Simple, But Yet EASY TO LEARN, Day Trading Techniques Work For Anyone With Absolutely NO PRIOR TRADING EXPERIENCE!"

2. "It’s your chance to take the Bulls (excuse the punn) by ..." - punn should be pun.

3. "The world is so screwed up right now, people are losing jobs left and currently the unemployment rate..." - losing jobs left and right OR left right and centre.

4. "A few of their friends have also lost their jobs and are turning to the Internet for that solution to ..." - internet as the solution

5. "Friends screaming for an answer how you managed" - answer TO how

6. "You need someone to mentor you to the path to successful trades." - mentor you and get you on the path

7. "Probably you have a causal, part-time, or ... " - casual

8. "Say Good bye to" - goodbye

9. "No More Bills To Pay - EVER! " - this one might just be me but we all have bills regardless of how much we earn so I think it needs to be changed to another statement.

10. "I got impatient, was desperate for money, the need for money lead to more mistakes" - led

11. "so you start off making money from the set go!" - "get go" reads better to me

12. "There's so many I've lost count, " - There are

13. "quite a few of good winning trades" - few good

14. "heaps of videos via YouTube people trading stocks and futures using same strategies" - Youtube SHOWING people, using THE same,

15. "the winning trades majority of the time" - the majority

16. "I'm not promising you will see a huge bank balance short space of time," - in a short space

17. "Now Mike is a complete newbie at Forex. He joined Forex Signal Mentor on 7th November. And started to apply my strategies by the 9th November. " - I think it reads better either the 7th of November or November 7th and 9th of November or November 9th.

18. "my videos is nothing short but amazing and proof once again you do not need any experience trading the forex at all.- OF amazing, that you

19. "My Forex Mentoring program is designed to all walks of life" - FOR all walks of life

20. I’m not like many product owners who are after your money and to ignore you when sending them a question via email - who

21. a 8 year old - an

22. incrediable - incredible

23. If there's any a time that you are looking for 50+ more - ever a time

24. "make you more than what you make in a week days wage in a day." - this doesn't read right to me I'd say something like, make you more than what you make in a week, in a day! OR make you more in a day than what you make a week at your day job.

25. targetted - just one t

26. in the description of top secret video 12, stable should be capital S. And "you'll have to stay a alert more" shouldn't have an a. And the sentence
"When you see these you'll know strategy away" - straight

27. Under the description of bonus content videos it says troubled enconomy instead of economy. And the sentence "If an hour a two a week" - should be OR.

28. "You wont see this anywhere else." - won't

29. "There's at least 20 strategies " - There are

30. "supplying you with 1,000 times more value than any other product put there - out

31. "for the fraction of the $197 cost" - a fraction

32. "I'm not sure how longer I can keep ..." - how much

33. "The Forex Markets will be here for ever, but will your day job?" - forever

34. essense - should be essence

Hope that was helpful, if not just ignore me some of them are just my opinion!

Jacqueline

[Loz]

Arh, thanks Jacqueline, that was really nice of you.

You know what, that page is coming down, a new ad-copy is going up very soon to reflect the newer and improved FSM. But some elements of the page will be kept though, I'll be sure to pop back and check here to "correct" my poor typing / writing skills.

Since you were so kind to do that for me, PM me, I got a surprise for you.

[Jacqueline]

No probs.

I wish I was a programmer though to help you out with SEO Website Builder Pro, I need it

Oh lordy, thank you for your generous gift

Jacq